Here are the 5 kinds of pandemic villains who are making things worse for the rest of us

Does anyone ever read the introductory paragraph preceding a listicle like this? I sure don't. I always skip straight to the numbered list. So without further ado, here are the 5 types of villains making the pandemic worse for everyone else:

1. DENIERS

People who are hostile to science, evangelical Christians, sociopaths, members of Trump's loyalty cult, social media toilet lickers, and those whose investment portfolios are under threat.

Credo: "Coronavirus is George Soros / Bill Gates / libtard-concocted fake news designed to hurt God Emperor Trump."

Exemplars:

2. HOARDERS

People who buy up vast amounts of toilet paper, particle masks, disinfectant wipes, and food, either out of fear or to seize an opportunity to profit through price gouging.

Credo: "If I don't take it all, someone else will."

Exemplars:

3. Star-Bellied Sneetches

People who are rich, famous, and or powerful enough to skip the line for testing and treatment.

Credo: "Only the little people wait in line."

Exemplars:

4. Profiteers

Officials who use insider information to enrich themselves while lying to the public about the true nature of the pandemic. Fraudsters who sell nostrums and other purported cures.

Credo: To the public: "We have everything under control." To their broker: "Sell"

Exemplars:

5. Pranksters/Sickos

People who terrorize and infect others for the likes and lulz.

Credo: "I have the virus and now you are all going to get sick," usually later followed by, "it was simply a joke."

Exemplars:

Image: By J.J. at the English language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link