Masque of the Red and Blue Death: parties to host fancy Congress dinners (UPDATE: dinner's off)

Congressional Republicans and Democrats are to welcome their incoming legislators in two fabulous dinners on Capitol Hill. Tables will be socially distanced, enhanced ventilation will whirr, and death shall hold sway over all within 14 to 30 days of onset of symptoms.

With coronavirus cases exploding in the U.S. and virtually no chance of government relief, this is perfectly symbolic of what has not been won with the dethroning of Trump.

(UPDATE: The events were called off, reports Pelosi chief of staff Drew Hammill. The meals were boxed and the members took them to go)