"I sold my wife's clothes," write Richard Kelly Kemick, "to build a Christmas village in my parents' basement."
Gaze on the world I've created. Just past my restaurant is my butcher. Next is my fire hall, my school, and my post office: public monies at work. At the far end of the village is my department store. And sitting in its display window—brace yourself—is a miniature miniature Christmas village. …
My wife doesn't realize that I've been selling articles of her clothing for the past three years. We've been living together for only two. "Where'd that striped top go? " she asked once. I feigned ignorance and then inconspicuously checked our Kijiji account to make sure I'd deleted the ad. I got a whole $23 dollars for it.
[via Matthew Ingram, whose introduction I cannot surpass: "In the Christmas spirit of giving, I give you one of the most batshit-crazy feature pieces I have ever read."]