Toys R Us's new owner plans to open stores

After the beast dies, the private equity parasite will leave its host and slither toward the next. After creditors take what slim pickings they can, another parasite will soon find the corpse. But without a living body to inhabit, all that it can do is remove the beast's hide and wear it like a coat, in the hope that prey will wander by and be fooled by the disguise.

"We're in the brand business, and Toys R Us is the single most credible, trusted and beloved toy brand in the world," Yehuda Shmidman, chairman and chief executive officer of WHP, said in an interview. "We're coming off a year where toys are just on fire. … And for Toys R Us, the U.S. is really a blank canvas."

This guy can't even get out of the brand-management mentality for a single sentence, so I guess the new Toys R Us will be a seasonal junk shop, like the Halloween ones, backed into daily by dump trucks laden with whatever brightly-colored silicone junk that bankrupt importers abandon at the Amazon warehouse.