This road trip will take you 862 miles all the way through the isle of Britannia.
Your journey begins in Shitterton, a hamlet in Dorset, England, into Whores Wood and then Bitchfield, before carrying on to Cock Alley in Derbyshire.
There's a long stretch from there until you reach the aptly-named Dick Place, which is also one of the most expensive streets in Scotland.
From Dick Place, you'll head off to the Aberdeenshire settlement of Cock Bridge before you finally reach the finish line on the Orkney island of Twatt (not to be confused with the other island of Twatt, which is slightly northeast of Twatt in Shetland).
And to think, all those foreign towns that English colonists claimed and renamed for the crown — they could have been a lot worse off!
