Buy this mysterious relic that inspires inconceivable dread and abject horror to those that behold it

The Lihit Lab Double Zipper Pen Case was plundered from beyond the darkest stars. It holds a lot of pens and pencils. At night it writhes in the corner of my vision, its edges bleeding with spidery, demonic symbols.

Though I keep it locked in my desk drawer, buried amongst my other trinkets and pseudoscientific laboratory apparatus, my children happened to spy it and pleaded for their own. I went to considerable trouble raising an army of monsters to slay a sorcerer prince to acquire one for each of them.

Despite its diminutive size you can pack a lot of art supplies in it, thanks to its book-like middle "page" that holds pens and pencils on one side, and a secret portal to a world of madness and nightmare on the other side.

I am resolved to use it to transform my writing implements into abominable horrors of cosmic power before the case's soul-leaching energy consumes me and commences to devour whole worlds.