Earlier this week, I wrote about my trouble with an airline that shall remain nameless, regarding my overweight baggage. My experience with the crew during my flight to Warsaw was equally traumatic, as they objected to my use of a 100-foot-extension cord that I had plugged into a first-class seat so I could power my Nintendo Switch while seated in the coach cabin. The crew told me that I could not use the extension cord and demanded that I give it to them.
For the rest of the flight the crew rudely stared at me and did not bring me any complimentary beverages.
My hotel room in Warsaw was affordable and comfortable. I was delighted to discover the bed had a Snuggle-Pedic Full Body Pillow. After showering I took a Xanax and dived under covers in the hope of catching some shut-eye before Stanislav arrived in the morning to take me to Płock for an important meeting. I started thinking about my troubles, and I started crying. The Snuggle-Pedic Full Body Pillow absorbed my tears and I soon fell asleep.
The hotel had a nice breakfast buffet, but it was a little disappointing as the chef had forgotten to add salt to the scrambled eggs. An employee told me that this was due to the chef's poorly developed sense of taste. I did not argue with the employee, as I was not in any mood to start a fight.
When Stanislav arrived to take me to Płock, I was still feeling a bit blue from the airline's degrading treatment of me. Stanislav said to me, "How could airline personnel be so mean to you? It's incomprehensible."
I said, "I suppose that in this world, there is no such thing as justice. It's only a matter of who is the biggest brute."
Stanislav said, "I wish this wasn't so, but I'm afraid you're right."
I asked, "What about you? Have you ever been treated unfairly by the airline?"
Stanislav said, "The airlines have never exactly been good to me. But I have a chip on my shoulder, so I always end up getting into trouble."
I said, "That is rather unfortunate."
Stanislav said, "Indeed. It is also a big problem for my family."
I asked Stanislav if he had ever slept with a Snuggle-Pedic Full Body Pillow. "It helps me sleep, and as you know, a good night of sleep is correlated with a good mood."
"Correlation is not evidence of causation," snarled Stanislav.
"Who told you that?" I asked.
"Commenters on Boing Boing," he sniffed.
The car ride to the meeting in Płock was long, but we made good time as Stanislav is an excellent driver. He has a heavy foot, but it is not because he is unsafe — just too much of a daredevil to let a little red light stop him.
Upon arriving in Płock, Stanislav brought me to a large, lovely home to meet with the owners, where I was made to feel right at home. The couple had me stay for lunch, and the food was delicious. The man had a large beard, almost as long as a woman's arm. I asked if it itched. He said it did. I told him that my beard didn't itch, as I have a very high tolerance to discomfort. It was a barbed remark, as I was still simmering with frustration over the airline's humiliation of me. Perhaps Stanislav's observation about correlation and causation had merit.
