Listen to the Ninja Turtles 90s Christmas album

Back in 1994, the Ninja Turtles were already on the way down their early 90s height of popularity. So naturally, the best way to save the franchise was, uhh, to create a terrible made-for-VHS Christmas Musical Special, We Wish You A Turtle Christmas, with a truly compelling plot:

On Christmas Eve the Turtles realize they've forgotten to get Splinter a gift. They hit the town to try to figure out what to get him, their kid fans join them and lots of singing, dancing and some rapping and shenanigans ensues.

The 21-minute is full of wonderfully terrible songs like the "Wrap Rap," a rap about wrapping gifts, "Oh Little City of New York" (nee Bethlehem), and of course, "The 12 Days of Turtle Christmas," which looks like this:

12 April O' Neil autographs;
11 pairs of sneakers;
10 yellow yo-yos;
9 narrow neckties;
8 chopsticks;
7 silk'kimonos;
6 frisbees;
5 video games;
4 manhole covers;
3 skateboards;
2 comic books;
And a pizza with pepperoni!

Truly, this is art.

The podcast Bizarre Albums covers the story behind this strange Christmas special in its latest episode: