Schlepping through a riotous, crowded New York City subway car—fending off aggressive panhandlers while squeezing through the throngs of lugubrious locals—in hopes of finding a seat during rush hour is a challenge on its own. If you're trying to read in peace, without having your ears accosted by seven dueling smartphones blasting a cacophonous medley of hip hop and bachata, you moved to the wrong city. During my ten-year tenure in the city that never sleeps, I learned that the aforementioned moniker is misleading. "The city that never sleeps" disingenuously romanticizes New York's nightlife and culture. New York is a city of insomniacs, and that's because silence is a luxury.
I loved New York with all of my heart, but I hated living there. Whenever my roommate's continuous cackle or lustful moans pierced through the paper-thin walls of my crappy Bronx apartment, I began to wonder how the other half lived. Was there a better version of the city only available for those that could foot the bill? I mean, obviously, the answer is yes, but I began to fantasize about that reality more frequently every day. What would it be like to live in New York's famed Billionaire's row?
Through the video linked above, I got to live out my fantasy for thirty minutes. The video from the YouTube channel The B1M talks about Billionaires row with a hint of disdain due to the growing economic inequality ramping up across the city. Yes, the unchecked avarice on display is pretty awful. However, if you've actually lived in a New York apartment—with less room than a back pocket on a pair of yoga pants—the video is a fantasy, albeit slightly perverse, about the opulence and isolation every NYC native desires.
I mean, uh, down with the 1%. Yeah, that's what I meant.