The funniest rebuttal to the vegetarian argument

I don't know if you're like me or not, but I live for trolling people in real life. Not maliciously, mind you, but I do enjoy peppering in bits of absurdity in my fleeting interactions with people. These examples can range from curious verbal ticks or ideological stances that are wholly divergent from my true feelings. Again, this only occurs after gauging the person's sensibilities following some good-natured repartee. If their banter indicates a cheerful disposition, I'll venture into the daring and ramp up the bizarre to eleven. 

Having some stock references, the more obscure, the better, preloaded, makes the process all the more entertaining. If I were ever to encounter a vegetarian with an equivalent desire for quirky real-world interactions, I would proffer the bit from That Mitchell and Webb Look linked above verbatim. The argument that David Mitchell uses to combat the ideology of his vegetarian friend is pretty hilarious. I'm patiently waiting for the day I can utilize it in real life and see what happens afterward. 

They'll probably just think I'm a weirdo—which is a solid assessment.