Need a new alarm for the morning?

I'm going to say something that's bound to get some hate, but I'm a morning person. Yep, that's right. I'm that chipper guy you see bouncing to the gym at 5 am with a pep in my step and the sunshine in my pocket. As a result, it's always disheartening to have my gleeful morning well wishes met with the sullen, irascibility of virtually every other human alive. I've funneled countless hours into researching why other people are so groggy in the AM for years. Is it because they're going to bed too late and wake up too early? Could it be their mattress? For decades the result of my study has been maddeningly inconclusive. However, I feel as if I've finally stumbled across a breakthrough.

Ya see, the song linked in the video above is essentially what I hear in my noggin when I wake up. Since some of you can't produce this sound naturally, I humbly offer you a synthetic version, thanks to YouTuber Marc Rebillet. If you dig the song, check out the whole track- which he improvised on the fly- below.

See you in the morning, folks.