Russian speaker of the house gets all saber-rattly over Alaska

Having been elevated by exciting gold mining and crab fishing reality TV, Alaska is suddenly back on Russia's list of things it misses! The speaker of Russia's lower house of parliament, Vyacheslav Volodin, warned the United States that if we don't stay hands-off of Russia's other historic resources Uncle Sam should expect Ivan to come for Alaska.


"Let America always remember; there is a part of [Russian] territory: Alaska," Volodin said, according to multiple news outlets. "So when they start trying to dispose of our resources abroad before they do it, let them think: we also have something to return."

For months, tensions between the United States and Russia have been rising due to the ongoing conflict in Ukraine and the massive sanctions imposed on Moscow by the United States and its allies.

Heroically, Alaska's governor responded threat for threat via the revered international diplomatic channel "Twitter."

Via Crooks and Liars