Colorado Congressquack Lauren Boebert, who once confused what state she represented, says her husband was the victim when he displayed his allegedly tattooed penis at a bowling alley. In her new memoir, she claims that in 2004, Jayson Boebert, who was 24 at the time, had been harassed and pressured by a woman bartender, and apparently had no other choice but to unzip his pants and whip out his pee pee (for which he spent four days in jail).
According to Raw Story, the failed "poison pork slider" vendor, known for her outlandish ghost stories and other drivel, wrote, "The two of them went to the Rifle bowling alley and got to chatting over drinks," referring to her stepfather and Jayson Boebert, forgetting that she was there too.
"The female bartender flirted with Jayson, having heard previously from his friends what a catch he'd be," she continued. "They even teased her by saying he'd gotten a great tattoo in a private area, which made her curious, so she pressed Jayson to show it to her right there at the bar. He ignored her and was embarrassed she was doing it in front of my stepfather. She wouldn't stop." So he finally complied, she said, just to make it all go away.
This is quite a different story from what was in the police report, according to Raw Story:
However, one of the women named as a victim in the sheriff's report told police that Jayson Boebert came up behind her and pulled his penis from his pants after bragging to her and another woman about the tattoo, and a second young woman told investigators a nearly identical account.
And reported by Salon last August:
Salon has obtained a witness statement written at the time by Erica Anne Coombs, one of the two young women involved in the bowling alley incident, who still lives in Lauren Boebert's congressional district. Coombs wrote that after harassing a third person identified as Nora, Jayson Boebert told Coombs and another young woman, identified as Trisha Walies, that he had a tattoo on his penis.
"Trish and I were standing at the snack bar, and she came up and looked at my tattoo on my back, and she pulled down her sock and said, 'look, my is fading,'" she wrote. (The word "tattoo" may have been omitted.) "Then Jayson said 'I have a tattoo on my dick.'"
"Trish and I said 'ya, whatever' and turned away to ignore him," Coombs continued. "Then Jayson came up behind us and pulled his penis out of his pants. His thumb was covering the head, and all I saw was the shaft. Trish and I turned away and went and told Larry." That refers to Larry McCown, the owner of Fireside Lane in Rifle, Colorado, who called the sheriff's department.
When Garfield County sheriff's deputies arrived, McCown told them that he had repeatedly asked Jayson Boebert to leave the bowling alley but that Boebert had "refused to leave and became belligerent." Boebert told deputies he had not exposed his penis, but had stuck his thumb through the fly of his pants as a prank. Trisha Walies disputed that in her account, writing: "I know that wasn't a thumb because thumbs aren't 6 inches long."