Powerthirst has more lights than your body has room for

15 years old, and still I snicker whenever I see this classic.

"You'll be so fast that Mother Nature will be like "Slow down", and you'll be like "Fuck You" and kick her in the face with your energy legs."

Know Your Meme has an excellent entry on Powerthirst:

Powerthirst is an extreme advertisement created by the Canadian comedy group Picnicface for a fictional energy drink with the same name. It is best known for comically over-the-top sales pitches including "it gives you menergy."