Britain: from promises of "sunlit uplands" to consuming their own recycled diarrhea.
"Be 'less squeamish' about drinking reprocessed sewage water", reports Sky News, quoting the "environment chief", a "Sir James" who presents the notion as a matter of conservation but is eager to make clear that access to water isn't a right.
In fairness, water recycling is a fine idea. Whether it's a fine idea to implement it as rapidly as possible during a crisis, and to have it implemented by the same companies currently explaining why they can't stop spewing raw sewage onto beaches, is another thing. Maybe they sell LifeStraws at Tescos?
Much more can be done. Here's someone suggesting suspending pollution laws so old folks can burn their books to stay warm, what with limits on consumer energy prices about to be lifted just in time for winter's coming.
You can also eat moldy food, you know.
Alice said: "We're very used to perfect food in our country, we're used to going to the supermarket, putting our hand to the back [of a shelf] and pulling out an item with a week's shelf life.
Help the water recycling plant! Preliquify your shit!
An here's The Telegraph's tips on how to save a few bob a week by being at work more, etc.