Remember when Rudy Giuliani blubbered about being "attacked" in a supermarket β that it "hurt tremendously" and could have killed him β before security footage revealed that the aggressor had merely given him a light slap on the back? Now MAGA's court jester has a new act, feigning outrage that people aren't allowed to be punched like they used to.
"You can't use your gun, you can't touch anybody," croaked the disgraced former attorney to Trump who has had a suspended D.C. law license since June 2021.
"One of the reasons why cops are having a hard time … they can't punch you!" he cried. "My uncle [a former police officer] had a knockout punch … Think of the people he didn't have to shoot because of that!"
Meanwhile, host Joe Pags did a remarkable job keeping in character, nodding and shaking his head like a sympathetic comrade in disbelief at the injustice of it all.