The neurotypicals are smearing butter directly on cutting boards and calling them "butter boards" 

Move over, charcuterie boards. Butter boards are the hot new thing! I guess not TOO hot, though, cause then the butter would melt and slide off the board and then it'd be a total mess. 

So, what's a butter board? It's a wooden board smeared with butter and then topped with all kinds of things both sweet and savory—think honey, fruit, nuts, edible flowers, and more. The trend has become popular on TikTok, of course, and lots of folks are raving about them. TikTok user Keziah Bollinger calls them "a game changer" and says they "are going to be a staple for the holidays."

For me, though, it's a hard pass. First, what a mess to clean up. I hate it when dishes feel greasy, and trying to wash butter off a wooden board sounds like a Sisyphean task. No thanks. And second, party guests literally drag their bread through the butter slab, so everyone eating from the butter board is co-mingling all of their germs, especially if they are double-dragging, or even just breathing on the board too closely as they stick their bread in the butter. Once the pandemic hit, I quit partaking in rituals like blowing candles out on a birthday cake, a practice I'll never participate in again. Who wants to eat germ-covered cake? No way. 

I'm not the only one saying "no thanks" to this trend. I stumbled upon this hilarious Facebook post written by Bunmi Laditan that perfectly sums up all the reasons to resoundingly reject this trend:

The neurotypicals are smearing butter directly on cutting boards and calling them "butter boards." 

The butter, sometimes seasoned, is then sprinkled with fruits, flowers, and surrounded by meats(?) in this truly dystopian level charcuterie. 

I'm struggling with this. 

Why is the butter not put in a glass or wooden bowl?

Why is it smeared directly on the wood in what would make for a difficult, gag reflex inducing clean up and presentation after many people partook in the "butter board?