Laura Ingraham warned her elderly fan base that, if elected, Democrats will unleash the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Reading from Revelation 6:1-8, King Murdoch Version, she said:
I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its libtard rider held a bottle of Levonorgestrel tablets.
When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its libtard rider was given power to make peace on the earth and to make people sit on the couch and watch Netflix. To him was given a large bong.
When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Cum!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its libtard rider was holding coupons for a free month of PornHub pro.
When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its libtard rider was named Cheney, and Thompson was following close behind her. They were given power over a twentieth of the earth to conduct fake hearings.
