Recoil in terror, friends, pumpkin spice season is upon us

Listen, I love pumpkins as much as the next guy. I've made Jack-O-Lanterns and have enjoyed a pumpkin spice latte or two, but this seasonal pumpkin obsession has gone too far. As a man, I've seen too many of my male friends, looking to appease their girlfriends, drearily pose with dead eyes in enough pumpkin patches to know that we've ceded too much power to the seasonal orange fruit.

It's impossible to walk into a Starbucks this month without seeing throngs of suburban moms and wives adorned in yoga pants, Ugg boots, and sweaters bearing their alma maters subsisting solely on pumpkin spice lattes. It's an epidemic, and I'm not sure what caused it. Clever marketing? Social media trends? Or is it something darker?

In the video linked above, the YouTube channel Meat Canyon created a terrifying and silly animated sketch that accurately portrays the pumpkin addiction that several Starbucks patrons suffer from.