As the gaping maw of infinity spat out the infant universe, only a solitary entity emerged fully formed. While swirling clouds of atoms slowly congealed over millennia to craft the carbon that comprises our existence, Florida Man observed the process undaunted by the glacial march of time and hostility of the void. His cold, piercing eyes gazed up from the deep crimson pool of Abel's blood as the fury subsided in Cain's heart. When the guillotine's blade sliced through the crisp air of Paris in January, the wind whistled "Florida Man." He can't be reached with reason and doesn't understand compromise. He conceived insanity and was the midwife to chaos. To know Florida Man is to lose all knowledge of yourself.
According to The Guardian, yet another poor human vessel was allegedly possessed by Florida Man when he attempted to sneak a gun through the airport by concealing it inside a raw chicken.
The US Transportation Security Administration has caught an air traveler who had allegedly stashed a firearm inside a raw chicken in a bid to get the weapon through security at a Florida airport. In a pun-laden post to its Instagram account, the TSA said the bizarre attempt had been foiled at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood international airport when eagle-eyed agents spied the handgun wrapped in tape and placed inside the bird's cavity. The chicken was then hidden inside the traveler's carry-on luggage. "We hate to beak it to you here, but stuffing a firearm in your holiday bird for travel is just a baste of time," the agency said in the jokey post.