Here's a list of bad things that happened to possessors of penises last year, as reported to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and compiled by Defector.
- Playing with a toy dinosaur and made it bite his penis
- Was having a pillow fight with his dog when the dog lunged for the pillow and accidentally bit patient in his penis
- Had a piercing on penis which got caught in car door
- Took some male enhancement pill & used a penis pump, heard a "pop from a vein in his groin area"
- Closed an eyeglass case on his penis
- Pain to testicles which started when he was given oral sex after he was sprayed in the eyes with pepper spray
- Stuck two magnets on his foreskin unable to remove