Ferret legging, the sport of kings

Image: USFWS Mountain-Prairie/public domain

Chessboxing? Ridiculous. Curling? Churlish. The hottest game in town is Ferret legging, which is exactly what it sounds like – put a ferret in your pants and see who endures the longest. It rose to prominence in the late 80s after a magazine article and associated video shed light on the then-reigning champion, one Reg Mellor (with a record of five hours and twenty-six minutes, which has since been surpassed). To anyone who intends to become a ferret legging novice themselves, I offer you my sincerest salutations – and, of course, my condolences as well.