Popular brands of hamburger bun have reportedly lost their sesame seeds, a mystery exemplified by Paul Kafasis's report on a harrowing trip to Trader Joe's that briefly undermined his confidence in reality.
Flummoxed, I spent an unreasonable amount of time perusing the shelves. I thought perhaps there were two varieties of bun, one with sesame seeds and one without. I came up empty, however. I put the package in the top of my shopping cart and attempted to move on. … Those damned buns were missing their sesame seeds, I was sure of it. I marched over to the in-store computer, and attempted to find the product. As I jabbed my finger at that laggy touchscreen, a helpful employee asked if he could assist me instead. I explained the predicament, and I saw his reality give out as well. Now we were both adrift in a sea of confusion.
The mystery solved, courtesy of the FDA's new rules requiring manufacturers to remove the ingredient or indicate the presence of a major allergen. The former option is, presumably, less potentially troublesome.
Easy fix: a can of food grade spray adhesive and a bag of sesame seeds, you won't even have to change brands!
It is, nonetheless, a minor outrage that Trader Joe's has the temerity and audacity to keep calling these buns "classic" buns. Granted, it is catchier than "Trader Joe's Pseudohypoallegenic Hamburger Buns"
