The Hard Times satire site recently posted a hilarious piece about a guy at a gym lifting weights while listening to the Mountain Goats. It's called "What the Fuck: This Guy is Listening to the Mountain Goats While Lifting." It starts:
Normally the gym is a place for quiet contemplation and self-improvement, but this time I left utterly confused. This enormous lunk across from me is clearly listening to the Mountain Goats while power-lifting and I'm befuddled.
He first caught my attention by aggressively grunting "I'm gonna make it through this deadlift if it kills me," and then lifted 400 pounds like it was nothing. The weird thing is he was definitely listening to 'Arguing With the Ghost of Peter Laughner About His Coney Island Baby Review' while doing that lift.
After some more descriptions of the man aggressively lifting weights while listening to obscure Mountain Goats songs, ranting to the gym staff, and pounding his protein shake so hard that he gets it all over his clothes, the author wonders what exactly is going on:
This man is a true wild card. Is he cool? Is he insane? Is he dangerous? I honestly don't know how to exist around this person right now.
None of it makes any sense, and the whole thing is hilarious because, well, getting aggro swole at the gym is pretty much the opposite of what most Mountain Goats fans aspire to. As a Mountain Goats fan, the piece made me literally laugh out loud. I hope you enjoy it, too! And don't mind me if you see me speed walking with my dog in my neighborhood, headphones in, singing at the top of my lungs, "But I am just a broken machine and I do things that I don't really mean!"
