Turns out Etsy still has stuff worth paying for on it, such as the biblically accurate Furby. Lazarus Quinn will customize one for you for £226 and up ($270).
Modeled after the original Confetti Amadeus! Prices include ordering the highest quality furby, preferably new or working, I can find (snowball or champagne) + supplies, so I will have to ship supplies to my house before I can start on the project itself. MADE TO ORDER, can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month to order and finish.
Indeed, the Etsy search term "biblically accurate" has much to offer.