Spider-Man toilet paper finally gets an official digital release

For my 23rd birthday, my sister got me the thing that every recent college graduate desires: toilet paper. In this particular case, it was a vintage box of Spider-Man toilet paper, with a comic book printed in blue ink across 325 sheets of 2-ply tissue paper for your butt cheeks to read on the throne. Originally released in 1979, this strange Marvel Comics artifact has become a bit of collectors item. Seriously — people charge anywhere from $50-$100 bucks for a copy of this crap on eBay.

I have carried my very special roll of Spider-Man TP with me all these 15 years or so (although I did admittedly use 2 squares at the start of COVID quarantine life when I literally had no bathroom and there were no stores open). But now Marvel Comics has officially re-released the TP superhero adventure as a digital "Infinity Comic," exclusively through the Marvel Unlimited app. While technically an April Fool's "joke" of sorts, the comic is indeed there, where it's expected to remain in digital perpetuity. Unlike the poop you took while reading it.