The Onion parodies Dianne Feinstein

This week's Onion guest commentary is by Senator Dianne Feinstein (1933 -), who returned to work last week after a bout of shingles.

It's titled, "America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I'm Glad I Don't Live There"

Seriously, can you imagine actually having to live in the United States? Their miserable citizenry must be furious with their ancient, dementia-addled representatives, who keep a stranglehold on power and prevent widely beneficial and popular policies from ever coming to pass. Listen to everyday Americans, and you'll hear common desires for basic security and opportunity, yet they're stuck with leaders who prioritize their own careers and bank accounts over the common good. Every day, I'm relieved I have nothing to do with that sinking ship of a country or its government and am instead a carefree 27-year-old French street musician in love with her accordion.