The "capital G" Gamer set is upset that the new Assassin's Creed game, set in Sengoku-period Japan, has as its two protagonists a black samurai and a Japanese woman. The historical Yasuke was a black man who became Oda Nobunaga's retainer and given a stipend even larger than William "Blackthorne" Adams' twenty years later, but this historical fact has only gotten them more upset about the wokeness of it all—as if the black samurai's exact rank even matters in a sci-fi series about fantastical romps through history. They are angry because he is black and because the woman is a nondescript weasel—a ninja!—instead of a hentai squeaky toy. None of this is remarkable, but comedian and writer Mike Drucker used it as a vehicle for one of the funniest things I've read about the phenomenon of enraged gamers getting upset at their food: Hi, I'm An Idiot Who's Mad About Everything In Video Games Except The Layoffs
If anything, I'm the calm one here. I don't just give Elon Musk eight dollars a month because I'm a sucker who needs a father figure. I pay money because I believe in free speech and I'm going to keep typing before the gerbil in a ball that is my brain accidentally hits upon what I'm saying. It's the other people on social media who are mean. They accuse me of being racist and being sexist. But let me ask you: does constantly whining about the existence of people of color and women make me racist and sexist? Tell me how that makes sense!
I'm sorry, you want to talk more about Assassin's Creed? No, I'm already over that. I forgot that game existed five seconds ago when a former game designer pushing 60 told me who to be mad at next. First there was a game journalist I'd never heard of until they wrote a couple articles that someone on Reddit said I wouldn't like. They've done more damage to the industry than any corporate executive ever could! Before that journalist popped into existence fully-formed, games were all Aryan men and robot women with genetically enhanced vagina bones. Now look at games! Do we really need more games like Baldur's Gate 3?
The video of that gamer kid screaming I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK at his poor mother was what, 15 years ago? Can't even find it now.
"So what is the act called? The Consumers!"
Hi, I'm An Idiot Who's Mad About Everything In Video Games Except The Layoffs [The Gamer]
Previously: Retro arcade games reinvented
