Alex Jones' whimpering sob fest is a masterclass in pathetic self-pity (video)

Alex Jones, the bloviating buffoon of conspiracy theories, delivered a Rittenhouse-worthy crying performance during a 4-hour "emergency broadcast" of his disinfotainment program last night. Gasping and wheezing through forced sobs, Jones claimed federal authorities are plotting to shut down his studio. You can't make this stuff up — oh wait, he probably did.

Jones has made a career out of spinning his sociopathic behavior into a victim narrative, and this latest performance is no different. With his face buried in his hands, Jones cried about having to sleep in his studio to prevent it from being padlocked. "I'm so pissed off," he whimpered, waving around some imaginary "secret federal files." You know it must be true, since it is coming from the same man who called the Sandy Hook massacre a hoax.

Jones openly admitted on Xwitter that he isn't even sure if any of this is real: "There's a 50 percent chance this is happening right now." So, it's either the federal authorities coming after him, or he's spinning a tall tale to con his gullible followers into sending him money. I wonder which one it is.

Previously: A former InfoWars employee describes Alex Jones' bizarre and dangerous behavior