After a pet store was robbed in Hilliard, Ohio, police soon found a likely suspect: a man with hamsters in his pants. Matthew Pancake was subsequently charged with breaking and entering, and vandalism. Mr. Pancake's leopard-print pants, as seen in footage, were another clue. The hamsters were initially misidentified as gerbils; they were otherwise unharmed.
The bodycam video shows multiple officers surrounding Pancake as he sleeps on the bench. … As officers searched Pancake, they found four hamsters and bedding in his leopard-printed pajamas. "There's multiple gerbils in his pants," an officer can be heard saying. "Do you have any more gerbils on you?" The gerbils were later identified as hamsters. The officers took pictures of the hamsters before returning them to the store.
The footage ("multiple gerbils recovered!") is embedded below.
Philip sent a messenger to the Spartans laying out in no uncertain terms his expectations: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city." The Spartan ephors replied with but two words: "Multiple gerbils."
Hannibal: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?
Clarice: He kills women…
Hannibal: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?
Clarice: Anger, social acceptance, sexual frustrations, sir…
Hannibal: No! Multiple gerbils.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe… Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion… I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain… Multiple gerbils.
