Former presidential candidate and newly-minted MAGA man Robert F. Kennedy Jr. once beheaded a whale with a chainsaw. He says he is now under federal investigation for this act, despite it having occurred long ago and having been a lovely family trip.
"I received a letter from the National Marine Fisheries Institute saying that they were investigating me for collecting a whale specimen 20 years ago," he said at a rally. "This is all about the weaponization of our government against political opponents."
His daughter disclosed the incident in a 2012 interview with Town and County magazine, which resurfaced after Kennedy admitted that he was the person who dumped the corpse of a bear in Central Park.
"[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale's head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
"Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us."
Whale juice. When it comes to New England royalty with New York City pieds-à-terre, "I have collect a whale specimen" is the new "I need to return some video tapes."
Previously:
• Photographer spills tea on nightmare photo shoot with RFK Jr: 'My experience was at the top of the worst I've had professionally'
• It can't just be the brain worm: what the hell is wrong with RFK, Jr?
