McDonald's turns dystopian death game into Happy Meal

In today's episode of "Late Stage Capitalism Gets Weirder," McDonald's Australia has decided that what their menu really needed was a tie-in with everyone's favorite Korean series about desperate people murdering each other for cash.

"You've seen Squid Game on Netflix, now experience it at Macca's," chirps Amanda Nakad, Marketing Director for McDonald's Australia, blissfully unbothered by the show's critique of wealth inequality and corporate exploitation.

For just your regular McNuggets meal price, you too can participate in the Dalgona Challenge — the fun game where contestants in the show either succeeded or got a bullet to the head. Don't worry though, Macca's version only risks your dignity and comes with the chance to win $100,000, which is considerably less than the show's prize but also requires zero murder.

The promotion runs from December 11, 2024, to January 7, 2025, giving Aussies plenty of time to pretend they're desperate contestants in a death game while munching on McNuggets with Korean BBQ sauce.

For those extra committed to the bit, McDonald's is even setting up a "sandpit arena" in Sydney where 500 people can pretend they're fighting for their lives while actually just trying to win a tracksuit.

As they say in the show, "Welcome to Squid Game!" Or as they say at McDonald's, "Would you like fries with your existential dread?"

I know I should be more cynical about this whole thing. I should be writing a scathing critique about the commodification of anti-capitalist art, or how we're all just willing participants in our own dystopia now. But that collector's box looks cool as hell, and I really want to try that Korean BBQ sauce. Catch me at Macca's, failing miserably at carving out that Golden Arches 'M' while pretending I'm above it all. Player 457, reporting for duty!