America's first president-elect felon is demanding that a New York judge delay his January 10 sentencing for a mere 34 felonies.
In a 17-page court filing dripping with royal prerogative, Trump's legal team insists that his impending return to the White House should put his criminal proceedings "on ice." Never mind that New York Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan has already promised not to send Trump to jail, proposing instead what amounts to a ceremonial finger-wagging through "unconditional discharge" – a sentence that would brand Trump a felon while sparing him any actual punishment.
"The court will lack authority to proceed with sentencing, must therefore immediately vacate the sentencing hearing… and suspend all proceedings," Trump's lawyers declared. His team's deadline demand – a response by 2 p.m. Monday – reads less like a legal filing and more like a royal decree.
Veteran defense attorney Ron Kuby punctured Trump's imperial bubble, telling Courthouse News there's "no shot" at another delay. "There is a procedure that's required to give the appellate court jurisdiction," Kuby explained, "And they're not following it here."
The case has already been postponed three times, making this fourth attempt feel less like legal strategy and more like a child asking for one more bedtime story.
The timing couldn't be more deliciously awkward – if sentenced as scheduled, Trump would have just 10 days to digest his status as America's first convicted felon president before taking the oath of office. Trump's spokesman Steven Cheung called Merchan's ruling "deeply conflicted," though apparently not as conflicted as having a convicted document-falsifier sworn in to uphold the Constitution.
Previously:
• Critics of Trump's dictator evoking speech 'will be crushed,' says campaign spokesperson
• Trump staffers 'abused and shoved' Arlington National Cemetary official who wouldn't let them film fresh graves
• Trump's former advisers say he praised Hitler and other dictators in private
