Remember when the CIA engaged in wholesome activities like overthrowing democratically elected governments and flooding American cities with crack cocaine for funsies? Those were the good old days. According to the WSJ, Trump's newly installed CIA Director John Ratcliffe just told the entire agency they can either get with the new program or get paid to GTFO.
The agency's workforce just got offered a "voluntary" separation deal — eight months of pay to bail before things get weird(er). But as Senator Tim Kaine pointed out, this totally-not-suspicious offer might just be a honey trap: "The administration immediately knows, you don't want to work for me. They'll find some other way to get rid of you. You should not raise your hand."
A CIA spokeswoman said this was about "infusing the agency with renewed energy," which is spy-speak for "replacing career intelligence officers with MAGA loyalists who think Jason Bourne was a documentary."
Best quote of the article goes to Ratcliffe, who told CIA officers: "If all of that sounds like what you signed up for, then buckle up and get ready to make a difference. If it doesn't then it's time to find a new line of work."
Translation: "Nice pension you got there. Shame if something happened to it."
Previously:
• This is the CIA's official guide to sabotaging business meetings
• The CIA lied: agency admits it hacked Senate computers to snoop on torture investigations
• CIA rapist tried to claim diplomatic immunity, sentenced to 30 years in prison
• More on the CIA's evil genius, Dr. Sidney Gottleib
• How to read Donald Duck 50 years after the CIA fomented a coup in Chile on September 11, 1973
