Elizabeth Holmes can't stop innovating, even in prison — just ask her about the lactation rooms she created at the Federal Prison Camp she's in. The convicted Theranos fraudster, speaking to People magazine, wants everyone to know she's a prison reform hero while simultaneously describing her incarceration as "hell and torture."
The former Silicon Valley darling, who built her house of cards on fake blood-testing technology that gave cancer patients false results and told pregnant women they'd miscarried when they hadn't, now spends her days teaching French to fellow inmates and drafting her "American Freedom Act" — a seven-page handwritten manifesto about strengthening the presumption of innocence. Because, you see, that's what was wrong with her trial, not all that pesky evidence.
Between humble-bragging about her 31-cents-per-hour prison job and describing her heart-rending visits with the children she bore while knowing full well she was facing a lengthy stretch in the joint, Holmes has traded her signature black turtlenecks for prison khakis but kept her talent for strategic reinvention intact. She claims all it took was a quick chat with the warden, and poof — multiple lactation rooms appeared, complete with freezers and inspirational murals. Because that's how federal prison bureaucracy works!
Most remarkably, Holmes maintains she's still inventing healthcare solutions from behind bars: "There is not a day I have not continued to work on my research and inventions," she told People, in a v"oice notably softer than the throaty baritone she was known for."
"I'm trying to grow, as every moment matters," simultaneously maintaining her innocence and vaguely acknowledging "there are things I would have done differently." Like maybe not defrauding investors of hundreds of millions of dollars? Or perhaps not giving patients false diagnoses that could have devastated their lives?
One has to admire the sheer audacity of someone who bilked investors out of hundreds of millions of dollars now positioning herself as a champion of justice system reform. We're watching Elizabeth Holmes do what Elizabeth Holmes does best — reinventing herself while taking absolutely no real responsibility for her actions.
Previously:
• Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes finally heads to prison today
• Judge declines to overturn Elizabeth Holmes' guilty verdict
• Locked up Elizabeth Holmes bonds with fellow celebrity convict in 'journey of positive change'
• Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes had a baby, raising questions about her fraud trial beginning this month
