Dear Skype, please sit down. We found something in a routine scan of your source code, and we have to tell you, it doesn't look good.
Take a look for yourself:
"Starting in May, Skype will no longer be available. Continue your calls and chats in Teams."
Listen, you had a good run. Back in 2003, you revolutionized how we awkwardly video-chatted with distant relatives and conducted job interviews in our pajama bottoms. That $8.5 billion price tag Microsoft paid for you in 2011? You were the belle of the digital ball! But, times have changed, and your app now moves slower than a turtle churning through Silly Putty.
Remember the pandemic, when everyone was desperate to video chat? That was your moment to shine! Instead, you sat in the corner while Zoom became a verb and Teams took over the corporate world. Even your notification sound started to feel less like a friendly chirp and more like the death rattle of outdated technology.
We tried to help you adapt. Really, we did. The "Skype Clips," the AI integration — but watching you try to keep up with modern apps was like watching Elon Musk trying to talk tech with his engineers.
And let's not even talk about your inability to sync messages across devices. That's just embarrassing at your age.
So it's time to join Clippy, Windows Vista, and Internet Explorer on that great digital ice floe in the cloud.
Thank you for all the glitchy international calls, the awkward frozen faces mid-conversation, and that weird period when you were randomly integrated into everything Microsoft touched.
With fond memories and several thousand dropped calls, The Internet
P.S. Say hi to Bob and Zune when you get there.
Previously:
• Skype's IP-leaking security bug creates denial-of-service cottage industry
• Report: Skype and investor Silver Lake screwed employees out of stock options
• Microsoft contractors are listening to your Skype conversations
• Privacy groups, activists and journalists call on Skype to document its privacy practices
• NSA can wiretap Skype wholesale
• German Bavarian gov't caught buying malware to intercept Skype calls
• New Skype malware threat reported: Poison Ivy
• Whatsapp, Slack, Skype and apps based on popular Electron framework vulnerable to backdoor attacks
