Bluey and Cocomelon are the top kids' animated shows worldwide. Bluey is a hand-made family soap that appeals to children and adults alike and layers relatable tales with observational humor and craft. Cocomelon is crude "algorithmic slop" whose creators proudly optimize for platform metrics and neurological impact. They could not be more different, writes Trung Phan: "Why I love Bluey (and hate Cocomelon)."
Cocomelon cracked the YouTube algorithm the same way slot machines cracked gambling or TikTok cracked social video. It pushes every psychological button to keep a child's attention:
Cuts every 2-3 seconds
So so so many different colors
Lots of movement and panning on the screen
Popular nursery rhymes remixed with upbeat tunes
The sound of babies randomly cooing in the background (the kid equivalent of how radio ads play sirens as a way to grab your attention because people are always on the lookout for sirens while driving).
Cocomelon reminds me uncannily of "Elsagate" content, where zany and inappropriate things happen to random popular characters. There's something about its cheapo CGI world that betrays the same mentality—like how once you know what Blippi used to do you can see it every time he crouches. Bluey is basically the best show on television in fifteen years.
