Former Proud Boys leader Joe Biggs is having a truly tragic time after being freed from prison by his beloved God Emperor Trump. Turns out getting your sentence commuted instead of pardoned means you're still technically a domestic terrorist. Dagnabbit!
"You're still gonna get screwed," a prison guard helpfully informed Biggs upon release. And boy howdy, was that guard right! Our brave patriot, who had been sentenced to 17 years in prison and served four before Trump sprang him, can't access his veterans benefits and monthly pension check anymore because he helped lead an attack on the U.S. Capitol.
"It's like you're out of jail, but you're still in jail," whined Biggs to The Independent.
He's super bummed that he can't collect his pension after that whole seditious conspiracy conviction thing. "You're kind of a burden on your family when you're in prison. But now I come home and I'm just draining money. I'm not bringing anything to the table to help my family. So I'm more of a burden, and I don't fit in. I don't feel right," Biggs bleated. But as they say in MAGA manbaby circles, "If loving Trump is wrong, I don't wanna feel right."
Prosecutors say Biggs "served as an instigator and leader" during the riot and took "deliberate, meaningful steps" to disrupt the electoral vote count.
Biggs is a bitter boy, and who can blame him? After spending years defending Trump and "biting his tongue" rather than blaming him for the riot, Biggs got stiffed with a commutation while others who committed more violent acts got full pardons. Even his old Proud Boy buddy Enrique Tarrio got a better deal.
Biggs, who describes himself on X as a "Right Wing Extremist and Proud Terrorist to the left," has reached out to the key MAGA figures who championed his cause while he was in jail for help. He went to CPAC last month and met with Steve Bannon, but he has since been brushed aside.
"All they care about is having you on their show so they can sell their f***ing products and make money off of you and your story, and then as soon as you walk away, they forget all about you," he says.
"I don't have any regrets," insists little Biggs man, who tearfully told the court he was "seduced by the crowd" during sentencing.
Alexa, play "All By Myself" on repeat.
Previously:
• Seditious 'Proud Boy' Joe Biggs gets 17 years
