Feed reveals what pilots are really saying while you're in the air

Remember when your mom said it was rude to eavesdrop? Well, throw that advice out the airplane window because someone has created the most addictive social media feed ever by snooping on pilots' private chatter.

This hero-we-didn't-know-we-needed built ACARS Drama, a system that captures the messages zipping between planes and ground control.

Using what they describe as "relatively cheap bits of equipment," they intercept about 2,000 messages per hour from aircraft passing overhead. Most are boring position reports, but it filters out that stuff and posts the fun ones.

This self-described "massive nerd" says:

It's fair to say that the overwhelming majority of messages transmitted are extremely routine and boring, contrary to the name of the bot — which to be honest, is part of the joke. So, you'll mostly see things about asking for gate confirmations, reporting "snags" with the aircraft, usually toilet or coffee maker related, but occasionally you'll see reports of drunk passengers, fights onboard — you know, air travel things. That's what makes it an interesting and fun project. You also get to see the pilots' personalities shine through as well, which I love. We all have good days and bad days at work, so you might see the occasional snarky message — but ultimately, these are professionals doing a wonderful job in not always the easiest of circumstances.

Here are a few recent examples I pulled from today's feed:

HI. LAV A FLUSH HAS FAILED. NO SUCTION. CHEERS

HELLO WE NEED LAW ENFORCEMENT UPON OUR ARRVL TO BOS TO REMOVE A PAX FOR SMOKING IN THE LAV

GOOD MORNING. FWD COFFEE MAKER DOES NOT WORK.

WILL NEED BIO WHEN WE LAND. PAX SOILED HERSELF ON WAY TO RESTROOM

HOWDY, WERE GOING TO NEED LEO MEET THE AIRPLANE FOR A PERSON TOUCHING ANOTHER PAX.

GOOD AFTERNOON DOES THIS PLANE TURN

I GUESS HE HAS A DIZZY SPELL AND WAS UNABLE TO STAND SO HE LAID DOWN ON THE FWD GALLEY FLOOR INTENSE SWEATING BACK IN SEAT NOW

CURRENTLY HAVE MALE PAX VOMITTING BLOOD AND PALE NURSE ONBOARD ASSISTING REQUEST EMT ON ARRIVAL SEAT 14D

MR NICKLAUS DOES NOT WANT CAR SVC PLANESIDE IF GRD CREW CAN JUST GIVE A RIDE VIA GOLF CRT OR VAN ETC.

So next time you hear that syrupy-sweet pilot voice saying "slight turbulence ahead," just know they're probably typing "OMG THESE PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY THE WORST" into their secret pilot chat. And now, thanks to this massive nerd, we get to read all about it.

Previously:
• Southwest pilot removed from cockpit and charged with DUI