Remember when "Aloha" meant "hello" instead of "up against wall"?
As reported in The Independent, two German teenagers got a crash course in American hospitality when border agents decided their spontaneous vacation planning was clearly a sign of something sinister.
Charlotte Pohl and Maria Lepère, fresh-faced 18- and 19-year-olds from Rostock, made the mistake of thinking they could island-hop Hawaii the same way they explored Thailand and New Zealand. But instead of receiving leis, they were given complimentary strip searches, handcuffs, and prison uniforms by brave CBP officers.
"It was all like a fever dream," said Lepère, who apparently hadn't gotten the memo that America now treats tourism like a terrorist plot.
The teens spent their Hawaiian vacation on moldy mattresses in a freezing cell, sharing space with actual criminals. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty authentic American experience, given the fact that America imprisons 580 per 100,000 residents (compared to 68 Germany).
Their crime? Not booking their entire five-week stay in advance. Apparently, "spontaneous travel" now ranks somewhere between "suspicious package" and "carrying contraband" in the CBP threat assessment handbook.
German tourism to the US has dropped since this kind of welcome became standard operating procedure. Turns out people prefer their paradise without prison uniforms. Who knew?
Previously:
• For years, the chief of the Border Patrol was a member of the secret CBP Facebook group for racist and threatening chatter
• CBP employees' new challenge coin mocks care for migrant kids
• CBP officer refuses to allow American journalist into the country until he admits he writes 'propaganda'
• Hackers stole a US Customs and Border Patrol facial recognition database
• Lawsuit: US citizen suing CBP for coercing him into unlocking his phone during boarding at LAX
