What happens when you put a preening Fox News host in charge of the Pentagon? Pure chaos, according to John Ullyot, a former Pentagon spokesman and Trump loyalist who skewered his ex-boss Pete Hegseth in Politico on Sunday. Ullyot's description of this "Month From Hell" and "near collapse inside the Pentagon's top ranks" makes the Roy family look like the Von Trapps.
The highlight reel stars Hegseth as a master of self-sabotage: firing his own longtime allies (whom he personally recruited), treating classified intel like Instagram Stories on Signal, and creating such spectacular dysfunction that his own former spokesman is now warning of bigger bombshells to come. It's like watching someone try to juggle hand grenades while reading "Military Leadership for Dummies."
Hegseth scurried back to the warm embrace of Fox & Friends — his old workplace daycare center — to blame nebulous "deep state" forces for his troubles, while his department smeared his departed allies as leakers. And those totally-not-classified Signal messages to his wife, brother, and lawyer? Just casual chitchat about bringing "warfighting back to the Pentagon," you know, like sharing a spicy meatball recipe.
Brian Kilmeade helpfully tossed his former colleague the gooiest of softballs, asking if maybe the mean ol' deep state was being super unfair to poor Pete. Hegseth grabbed that lifeline like a drowning man, proclaiming himself a brave warrior against "trans lunacy" and — in a moment of weapons-grade irony from a man whose bar tabs could fund a small military operation — those dastardly "cocktail-sipping" elites.
Here's a tip: If you're going to blame the deep state for sabotage, maybe don't personally hire and then fire your own longtime allies.
Previously:
• White House reportedly looking for Hegseth replacement
• Hegseth's pledge to remain sober is adorably consequence-free
• Inept: Pete Hegseth accidentally texts U.S. war plans to Atlantic editor, says new report
