Great news, Americans! Thanks to your god-emperor and his loyal billionaire sidekick, your Freedom Milk, is now fortified with listeria and brain parasites!
The FDA just announced they're suspending their milk quality testing program because they fired too many people to actually do their jobs. As Reuters reports, this comes after DOGE axed 20,000 Health and Human Services jobs in Musky's ongoing crusade to streamline government into two essential departments: the Bureau of Billionaire Back-Scratching and the Office of White Christian Nationalism.
And what about the testing program that checked if your milk had gone full bird flu? Gone. Reuters reports they've also suspended "testing for pathogens like the parasite Cyclospora in other food products." too. Don't fret, a little brain-eating parasite never hurt anyone. Look at RFK Jr!
An HHS spokesperson insists this is fine because they were "already planning" to close the testing lab. Which makes about as much sense as planning to remove your smoke detectors because you're thinking about moving next year.
Somewhere in America, a dairy farmer is wondering why they bother following safety protocols when the government treats food safety like an optional yoga class.
Previously:
• Activists recorded pouring bottles of milk on floor at Harrod's department store
