Fish will give you mercury poisoning, beef and pork clogs your arteries, bacon is an instant heart attack, tofu is an endocrine disruptor, and beans will make you a flatulent persona non grata. That pretty much leaves chicken as your only protein option.
And now, the scientists say chicken will kill you too.
Research published in Nutrients reveals your supposedly innocent chicken dinner is actually the angel of death in feathered form. Italian scientists tracked 4,800 middle-aged adults for 19 years, discovering that people who eat more than 300 grams of poultry weekly had a 27% higher mortality rate than their chicken-avoiding counterparts. For men, that number soars to 61%.
Want some gastrointestinal cancer with your chicken nuggets? That's a 65% increased risk for lovers of the breaded killer fowl flesh.
Nutritionist Shelley Loving suggests it might not be the chicken itself but how we're cooking it. Apparently, we're using the wrong oil. Skip the vegetable oil and spring for avocado or coconut oil instead. While you're at it, make sure your chicken is organic, free-range, and is named Colin.
"We want to stop investing in medications and start investing in real food," Loving advises, clearly broadcasting from an alternate dimension where groceries don't require a second mortgage.
Looks like dinner tonight is ice cubes drizzled with artisanal olive oil. Bon appétit
Previously:
• How to make the absolute best Buttermilk Fried Chicken ever
• Smoking incredible ribs and chicken is supremely easy
• The best vegan chicken nuggets
