Impressively long if lacking girth, the Bayeux Tapestry narrates the Norman conquest of England. But how many penises are embroidered therein? Oxford professor George Garnett counts 93 cocks, 88 belonging to horses and the rest to humans. But now Bayeux tapestry scholar Dr Christopher Monk believes he has found a 94th.
A running man, depicted in the tapestry border, has something dangling beneath his tunic. Garnett says it is the scabbard of a sword or dagger. Monk insists it is a male member. "I am in no doubt that the appendage is a depiction of male genitalia – the missed penis, shall we say. The detail is surprisingly anatomically fulsome," Monk said. The historians, whose academic skirmish takes place in the HistoryExtra Podcast, both insist that – beyond the smutty jokes and sexual innuendo – their work is far from silly. Garnett said it was about "understanding medieval minds".
"The whole point of studying history is to understand how people thought in the past," he said. "And medieval people were not crude, unsophisticated, dim-witted individuals. Quite the opposite."
Pun goes here; arrows elsewhere, please.
Previously:
• Medieval English people used to pay their rent in eels
• DIY medieval tapestry
• Teranoptia is a font for designing weird creatures
