In today's episode of "Make America Deflate Again," President Trump told Americans to lower their expectations about the economy.
As reported by Axios, Trump's solution to potential toy shortages is to pay more and get less: "Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more." That should have been his campaign slogan.
Meanwhile, at the Port of Los Angeles, Executive Director Gene Seroka is watching cargo traffic nosedive faster than Trump's approval ratings. CNBC reports incoming shipments are about to plummet by more than 35% compared to last year. That's what happens when you slap a 145% tariff on your biggest trading partner and act surprised when they bite back.
"China is America's factory," Seroka reminded everyone who apparently slept through the last three decades of global economics. With only "five to seven weeks of full inventories left," MAGA shoppers are about to experience the freedom of choice that comes with nearly empty shelves: "This garbage product or nothing."
Treasury Secretary Scott "Everything's Fine" Bessent keeps insisting these tariffs are "unsustainable," while simultaneously threatening more of them. It's like watching someone set their house on fire while complaining about the heat.
Walmart CEO Doug McMillon helpfully noted that "There will be a Christmas." What he didn't say is that it'll be like Christmas in Soviet Kyrgyzstan.
Previously:
• How Trump's tariff plan is lining his and Musk's pockets
