While thousands of victims testified about their stolen life savings, Celsius Network founder Alexander Mashinsky sobbed his way through a sentencing hearing that ended in a 12-year prison term. The prosecutor's assessment: this crypto-bro was a predator who "preyed on hope," convincing vulnerable customers their life savings would be "safe and secure" while he played roulette with their retirement funds.
As reported in Yahoo News, The weeping financial vampire managed to drain $20 billion from thousands of trusting souls while pocketing a tidy $45 million for himself. U.S. Attorney Jay Clayton said Mashinsky, "made tens of millions of dollars while his customers lost billions" — he wasn't even efficient at his swindling. The judge should have tacked on a couple of years for that.
When judgment day arrived, Mashinsky treated the courtroom to a tear-soaked performance that would make soap opera actors file plagiarism claims. Between sobs, he reminded everyone about fleeing Ukraine at age 7, serving as an Israeli fighter pilot, and arriving in America — presumably to perfect his skill at separating people from their savings.
Victim committee member Cameron Crewes wasn't buying the waterworks. He demanded a "harsh sentence," pointing out that hundreds of victims had literally died waiting for justice. "Many people have been wiped out," he told the court, while Mashinsky's defense attorney complained that victim statements were "rather brutal" — apparently forgetting that wiping out people's life savings and obliterating their future tends to make people a tad cranky.
The judge called Mashinsky crimes "extremely serious," which ranks high on the understatement scale alongside "the Titanic had navigation issues." For the next dozen years, Mashinsky can explain to his cellmate how he can make his ramen stash double in just six months if he only entrusts him with the packets.
Previously:
• Crypto bro Do Kwon dragged to US after $40 billion collapse and global manhunt
• North Korea just yoinked $1.5 billion from crypto bros to fund more missiles
• Pharma-bro Shkreli claims he helped launch Trump crypto coin with Barron, now worth $0.0004 after mysterious sell-off
• Tech bro's 'anti-fraud' AI actually just regular old fraud
• Argentina's president shows true free market spirit by helping scammers steal $87 million from his followers
