The Kennedy Center's new management team is shocked to discover that arts institutions sometimes operate at a deficit.
"What the heck is the Kennedy Center doing funding a group called 'Social Impact' when we have $0 in the bank and $0 in reserve?" demanded Richard Grenell, Trump's hand-picked president, who's apparently never met a performing arts budget he didn't want to prosecute.
At a White House dinner Grenell announced he'd discovered "$26 million in phantom revenue, fake revenue" and plans to sic federal prosecutors on the case.
Former Kennedy Center president Deborah Rutter, wielding 47 years of actual arts management experience, responded with receipts: "Financial statements, as well as audit reports, were presented at every Board meeting." She noted they left a $10 million reserve fund — which apparently doesn't count as real money in MAGA math.
"Following my departure three and a half months ago, I have had no access to, nor knowledge of, its current financial situation," Rutter added, in what translates roughly to "you break it, you bought it."
Meanwhile, Trump confessed he'd never visited the building before taking the chairman job, declaring: "That's the last time I'll take a job without looking at it." The U.S. Constitution just ordered another round.
Grenell's solution to this manufactured crisis? Going non-union, because according to him, union shows are "restrictive and expensive." Nothing screams "making American arts great again" quite like making sure American artists can't afford healthcare.
Previously:
• New Kennedy Center leadership censors award-winning musical about a sparkle-loving shark
• Stooge claims Trump has invited the J6 Prison Choir to play the Kennedy Center
• Sacha Baron Cohen plays Borat to lambast Trump, Kanye, and U2 at Kennedy Center Honors
• JD Vance offers a toast as he is booed at the Kennedy Center (video)
• Trump's Kennedy Center quietly, cowardly cancels Gay Men's Chorus
