Nothing reveals the hollow core of celebrity culture quite like watching A-listers desperately scramble to attach dolls to their $20,000 handbags.
As Harper's Bazaar breathlessly reports, the fashion victim brigade is crazy for Labubu — a fuzzy devil doll that looks like it was designed by typing "fuzzy devil doll" in ChatGPT.
The desperation to be part of this trend is so thick you could spread it on toast. Kimora Lee Simmons (Who this? — editor), is now adorning her Birkin with a Labubu. Rihanna has succumbed to a terminal case of try-hard, sporting a pink "Lychee Berry" version that makes her Louis Vuitton look like it's being attacked by kawaii rabies. Celebrity stylist Raz Martinez (Who this? — editor) says he held out until succumbing to "months" of TikTok algorithm manipulation.
The Erewhon crowd is paying up to $400 for the privilege of announcing to the world that they're the type of person who names their sourdough starter and considers "vibes" a personality trait. Welcome to 2025, where having a personality has been replaced by having the same mass-produced charm as everyone else on your Instagram feed.
Pop Mart's marketing genius lies in convincing people that attaching a nine-toothed gremlin to their designer bag is somehow an act of joyful rebellion against our "difficult political climate." Nothing says "fighting the system" like dropping half a rent payment on a plushie that'll get tossed as soon as the next vapid celebrity trend takes hold.
Previously:
• Bankrupted by Beanie Babies
• Bubblenomics: how the Beanie Babies speculators got it wrong
• Baby eats ice cream off own foot
