Here's where I get all personal and vulnerable for a second: For the last little bit, I've been dealing with some really fucking painful muscle cramps lately, and over-the-counter topical painkillers like Icy Hot have been the only thing keeping me sane in between liberal applications of the massage gun. Imagine my surprise, then, when I encountered Shaquille O'Neal, the man with a thousand brand deals, adorning the face of an Icy Hot bottle.
Shaq's likeness can probably be picked up for a pocketful of dimes and a copy of 2K nowadays, but this bizarre pain reliever also comes with a few voice lines that activate as you use it. "Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" is a punchline that hasn't been funny since 2014, but now you can hear it from Shaq as you desperately try to lessen your debilitating pain. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately; that thing is probably cursed) the Shaq Packs will be handed out by sweepstakes only, meaning you can visit your local pharmacy with no fear of a Shaq jumpscare.
