Rejected New Yorker cartoon captions are hilarious

I don't read The New Yorker. I don't wear the clothing line. I don't even live there! Even an uncultured pleb like me knows about and enjoys The New Yorker's cartoon caption contest, though. Actually, it's probably more accurate to say I enjoy Shitty New Yorker Captions.

SNYCC is what's known on Tumblr, its chosen platform, as a gimmick blog, specializing in a single specific niche — for instance, putting food on your dog. As one might have guessed, the niche here is submitting the worst captions imaginable to the contest, many of which — fight me — are better than the actual winners. Perhaps my sense of humor is just broken, but these have elicited genuine laughs from me.

Unfortunately, the blog has yet to score a win, which is how I know The New Yorker can't be run by anyone competent.